How we should Love

I would like to touch on the follow passage located in Ephesians 5:25-27.

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Specifically, verse 25.  It says “Husbands”.  Men, that is us.  This passage is talking to us, ME included.  (Women should know and understand this passage as well.)  Men, it says – Love your Wives as Christ loved the church.   To further examine this we need to see how Christ loved the church.  Christ loved his church through ministering to them, helping them, and through providing for them.  Christ led by example and asked others to follow Him.  He did not seek comfort in wine(Alcohol).  He did not seek comfort in other churches(In our case, other women).  He did not force His church to do what He said, but showed them the way and allowed them to make their own choice.   Is there any greater love then the love Christ showed for His church when he gave His life?  John 15:13 says there is not.

So men, love your wives like Christ loved the church.  Women, expect nothing less.  We, men, are not to treat our wife as a possession, we are to love her with the same love that Christ showed us.  When she is sad and down, we need to pick her up.  When she needs healing, we need to take care of her. 

Can we honestly say we are showing that kind of love to our wife?

Family Strengthening

Have you ever just had a long day where nothing seemed to go right?  It would be so nice to just hear a friendly hello or to have someone give you a hug.

Today, as you see your spouse, take time to tell him or her that you love them and that you appreciate them.  Our loved ones often know we love them, but may not know just how much we appreciate them.  Just taking a couple of minutes to say these things to your spouse can help strengthen and reenforce the foundation of your marriage.

Remember, love is more than a feeling, it is a verb.  It should be something we do as well as feel.  Jesus made a point of showing us His love with every step of his ministry, with every miracle and kind word.

Take time today to show your wife or husband that you love them. 

Until next time, Cliff Anstey

How to Strengthen Your Marriage

The following Excerpt comes from the book “Basic Types of Pastoral Care and Counseling” by Howard Clinebell.   These steps can help you strengthen your Marriage/Relationship.  I hope you find it as valuable as I do.

“Guidelines for Enriching Relationships”

1)  Set aside time to communicate to each other about what really matters to you; communication is to a relationship what oxygen is to your bodies.

2)  Recognize and affirm the stregths and assets in each other and in your relationship -warmly, caringly, and regularly.

3)  Keep th ewall of unresolved anger, hurt, and resentment from growing between you by discussing disagreements, negotiating fair compromises, resolving conflicts, and revising your basic covenant regularly to keep it fair, current, and just.

4)  Provide equal opportunities for each person to discover and develop his/her unused strengths and possibilities.

5)  Let your Child sides play regularly together; learn to chuckle at yourself and with each other;  give yourselves a mini-vacation each day (at least a few minutes of relaxation and fun.)

6)  Enrich your inner life, spiritually, and intellectually, by reading and by the spiritual disciplines you enjoy; you’ll have more to give in close relationships if you do.

7) Develop your support group – individually and as a couple.

8)  Increase your self-nurture and your autonomy to give you healthy spaces in your togetherness.

9)  Find a shared cause bigger than your relationship – a way of responding to the need of your community and world.

10)  Develop and implement an intentional growth plan for your relationship; choose growth goals that will improve your relationship in the ways you both want, and commit yourselves to concrete action plans, designed to help create your own better future.

If you don’t have time to do things like these, you may need to check and revise your priorities!

Hello world!

I have decided that with my counseling and ministerial training I am learning some good things.  I also know that God has put me in a place to help others in their families and marriages.  I hope that I am able to use this Blog as a way to share some of that valuable info with others.